The Second Son

He was the second son of a second son
and was used to skating by.
So, when his deferment got canceled
and his draft notice came,
he went where he was told and
stood quietly at the back of the line.
He accepted the army
but his indifferent skills at the
physical things earned him 
short-sheetings,
minor beatings,
almost universal disrespect.
They called him Jew-boy and
spat on his dreaminess while he
turned to solitary tears and to
touching his penis often
for reassurance.
They put him in Vietnam
anyway, where
he went to a line company
that was hit by an ambush
the first time he went out.
He fell to the ground,
noise crashing around him 
and, shaken as if by the neck,
he realized whose fault 
this really was and,
when that body fell on him
and leaked its blood,
it became the last straw 
and since he shouldn't be there
he wouldn't be there.
When they lifted it off him,
after the killing was done,
his hand was in his pants and he was 
smiling 
as he jacked himself off.